Jon Richardson

A control freak looks for love (women who leave wet teaspoons in sugar bowls need not apply). 'I haven't woken up with a cup of tea by the bed for seven years. It seems such a small thing but it's one of a thousand things I miss about having someone around to take care of me. I have spent my entire adult life getting things the way I want them and all I want now is someone to give it all up for.' Jon RichardsonIs your filing faultless? Your CDs, apostrophes, cutlery all in the right places? Can you eat a biscuit in the correct way? Then Jon Richardson (single for seven years and counting) could be your ideal man... Living alone in a one bedroom flat in Swindon, 27 year old Jon has had far too much time on his hands to think. In fact to obsess. About almost everything. Jon's obssessive compulsive personality disorder has seen him arrange the coins in his pockets in ascending size and colour code his bookshelves. It takes him less than 90 seconds to locate a receipt for a pair of shoes he bought in 1997. Over to the filing cabinet and R for receipts, S for shoes. But Jon doesn't want to be like this, in fact he would quite like to share his life with someone. But who could that someone be? Someone like himself, a quarrelsome perfectionist only with breasts and less body hair? Absolutely not. But who exactly is Jon looking for and where will he find her? Faced with a loveless future filled with his own peculiar quirks and perfectionism, Jon sets about his search for The One. The question is, will he mind her keeping the knives to the left of the forks in the cutlery drawer or organising the CDs by genre and not alphabetically?

Nine short stories written and read by comedians, recorded live in front of an audience at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. May Contain Nuts by Janey Godley: A woman glimpses her own mortality when she calculates that only twenty-seven years separate her from her cantankerous father. The Hair of the Dead by Sarah Millican: A moving (and very funny) short story about a compassionate undertaker's assistant. Gone Phishing by Jon Richardson: A tale of love and betrayal set in a remote village in the Yorkshire Dales. The Woman Who Sniffed by Susan Calman: A wry look at office politics, told with Calman's characteristic humour and upbeat energy. Just When You Thought It Was Safe to be Green by Patrick Monahan: A tale that warns against paying too much attention to government crime statistics. On The Dot by Shazia Mirza: A story featuring a certain Mrs Pims, who is always mysteriously late for everything. Then one day, the reason for her tardiness becomes apparent... Stairlift Us Up Where We Belong by Sarah Millican: A poignant and funny monologue exploring the tricky turning point in a woman's life, when she goes from being thought of as useful to becoming invisible. Spooky and the Van by Joe Lycett: Seventeen-year-old Julian is writing a blog. He's currently experiencing the weird limbo that lies between finishing school and starting university. As well as musing upon how his life might change, Julian's neighbor, nicknamed Spooky, is providing plenty of writing material and mystery... A Difference of Opinion by Bridget Christie: When Bridget's husband is assaulted by the ghost of a long dead European leader, it highlights the vast differences in interpretation between a believer and an atheist. Produced by Kirsteen Cameron. (c)2018 BBC Worldwide Ltd (P)2018 BBC Worldwide Ltd

A cracking collection of comic monologues, written and read by leading comediansRecorded in front of a live audience at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, this fantastic anthology features a host of diverse short stories, composed and performed by a veritable Who's Who of stand-up comedians. By turns hilarious and irreverent, poignant and bittersweet, together they make up a superb selection box of tasty treats.Among the all-star line-up, Romesh Ranganathan tells a comic tale of unrequited love among the orangutans; Susan Calman takes a wry look at office politics; Jon Richardson explores the perils of internet dating; and Sarah Millican takes us into the worlds of a compassionate undertaker's assistant and an elderly woman who fears she's becoming invisible.Russell Kane recalls his tempestuous ex; Aisling Bea recounts the dark, funny tale of a pensioner with murder in mind; Robert Florence reveals the shady doings of the Scottish branch of the Illuminati; and satirist John O'Farrell asks, 'what if Judas had written the Gospels'?Also sharing their fantastic fiction are a wealth of other literary comics, including Sanjeev Kohli, Joe Lycett, Bridget Christie, James Acaster, Jenny Eclair, Shazia Mirza and Mark Watson. Short story fans, rejoice: here are five hours of some of the most charming, absurd, dark, thoughtful and funny tales you'll ever find in one place.Contents:1. May Contain Nuts by Janey Godley2. The Hair of the Dead by Sarah Millican3. Gone Phishing by Jon Richardson4. The Woman Who Sniffed by Susan Calman5. Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Be in the Green by Patrick Monahan6. On the Dot by Shazia Mirza7. Stairlift Us Up Where We Belong by Sarah Millican8. Spooky and the Van by Joe Lycett9. A Difference of Opinion by Bridget Christie10. The Three Times I Dumped Eleanor, and the Manner of Her Death by Russell Kane11. Sorry For Your Loss by James Acaster12. Club Sandwich by Mark Watson13. The Understudy by Jenny Eclair14. Kill Dilly by Aisling Bea15. I Bought a Monkey To Stand Out in the New York Art Scene by Sanjeev Kohli16. Love and Orangutans by Romesh Ranganathan17. Bad Fairytale by Grainne Maguire18. The Gospel According to Judas by John O'Farrell19. Pick Me Up by Angela Barnes20. Apocalypse Soon by Dane Baptiste21. Cats Who Walk Like Gentlemen by Robert FlorenceProduction credits:Produced by Kirsteen CameronFirst broadcast BBC Radio 4, 25 August 2009-6 September 2015(c) 2022 BBC Studios Distribution Ltd. (P) 2022 BBC Studios Distribution Ltd